“WHAT’S FOR LUNCH?’
Ah, retirement. Not having to race to the office every day, no meetings and no demanding phone calls. Just being home doing what you want to do in a quiet and relaxed atmosphere. Seems perfect, right? And yet… let me share with you the story of two couples I know.
(Emily and Steve – One or the other Newly Retired)
Steve: What a gift! Ahh…, not having five meetings and not watching the clock! Morning coffee with my lovely wife. Maybe I’ll go for a walk this morning, Want to come?
Emily: Sorry, I have a business meeting today at noon.
Steve: So..., Wait.., Uh, WHAT’S FOR LUNCH?
(Susan and Jim – Retired at the Same Time)
Susan: I love being retired, don’t you, Jim? Why didn’t we do this earlier? Now, you can clean out your office today, and I’m off to get a haircut and meet Emily.
Jim: So…, Wait..., Uh, WHAT’S FOR LUNCH?
Yes, it’s an ever-lingering wonder, and in retirement the question reverberates through the halls,
“WHAT’S FOR LUNCH?”
And so, I offer you a few suggestions to avoid the confrontations that can surface regarding how the afternoon meal will be handled. After all, each of you has your own needs and wants, which may sometimes include a pastrami sandwich. Your partner is not a mind reader.
(If this sounds like too much emphasis on food, let’s get real. Assuming you haven’t just been to the grocery store, go now and check in your refrigerator to see if it would be at the ready to whip up a nutritious lunch. Since I doubt it and I’m sure you will want to remedy that - retired or not - NOW is the time to think about a solution!)
STEP 1 – Create a LUNCH AGREEMENT. This agreement lays out the basic method for each of you when it comes to handling the ‘What, Where, and When’ for lunch. It is best as a written document – no notary necessary – to refer to in case memory fails. If you are together at lunchtime, then compromise on those three W’s!
STEP 2 – There should be a central place in the kitchen to post THE SHOPPING LIST. Each week a together trip to Costco can be planned where you’ll easily be able to deal with each other’s needs, which, indeed, may include pastrami.
STEP 3 – If your spouse wants to retire and you don’t, evoking The Lunch Rule is imperative. Whatever is decided, make sure it is understood by both parties. Hint: If one of you seems insulted, stubborn, or hardheaded, download the Uber Eats and DoorDash apps on his/her phone and walk away.
STEP 4 - If you both will retire at the same time, be sure to start thinking about how you will spend your day. (This goes back to the PLAN part that I’m always talking about!) Since lunch is a daily occurrence, it’s important that the discussion include your true feelings, like simply saying, “Sometimes I don’t even eat lunch!”
STEP 5 – Regardless of your retirement situation, lunch is an excellent time to meet a friend, to go for a walk in the park and find a place to eat outside, as well as to pick up a bag lunch and attend one of Nashville’s excellent Lunch with a Scholar programs!
Emily and Steve and Susan and Jim worked out a plan. Now it’s your turn.
Bon Appetit! and Bon Retirement!
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Loretta
P.S. If all else fails, simply stand tall and say:
“I MARRIED YOU FOR BETTER OR WORSE -
BUT NOT EVERY DAY FOR LUNCH!”