(Author’s note: I’ve changed the name of my column. The reason is that the word ‘Retirement’ makes some people who are still working feel my message doesn’t apply to them. Actually, they are the perfect audience (yes, you in your 50s)! As a result, I’ve decided to call my column ‘happily ever after’. Read on to find out why.)
We all grew up with fairy tales. Years ago, I taught gifted kids in a creative writing class. One of the exercises I used was to challenge the kids to write a follow-up of what happened to any fairy tale character of their choice - TWO YEARS LATER. Oh, the tales I got – and with such unique endings!
1 - Cinderella and Prince Charming split up. The prince gambled away his fortune, and Cinderella moved to LA and opened… a shoe store!
2 - Snow White married her prince, and she found that his mother looked in the mirror even more than Snow White’s stepmother. Soon her new mother-in-law chased Snow White away, forcing her to end up keeping house for the seven dwarfs. Ultimately, she became hard of hearing because of all that whistling!
This made me think a lot about fairy-tale endings. How can we make them happen for ourselves so that we don’t end up like this prince and the princesses??
Whether it’s career issues, relationships, or life transitions in general, I believe people are searching for that “Happily Ever After.” Over the years almost every coaching client I’ve worked with answers the question, “What do you really want?” the same way: “I just want to be happy.”
So, what does being happy really mean to you? And how can you get there? Well, the fact is that you can sit back and just let things happen around you, or you can think about what you really want and begin making plans that can lead you to your new goals. Here’s the first step.
Let’s say you are 50+ and beginning to ask yourself, “Is this all there is?” You’ve worked hard and you’ve accomplished a lot. The question then changes to, “What’s next?”
Assuming you are like the rest of the world and say, “I just want to be happy,” This is the time to take a good look at who you are NOW and what really makes you happy. (Yes, you at 50+)
Hint: Think about some of those things you were really good at or interested in but gave up because of career or family obligations.
How would you feel doing some of those things NOW? Maybe it’s
- Continue with clarinet lessons
- Go scuba diving
- Learn a foreign language
- Have fun in a line-dancing group
- TBD
THIS STEP IS CALLED
SELF-AWARENESS.
If you purposefully make time for some or one of those activities, you will be not only challenging your brain with something different, you will also be creating a new community for the future and having fun as well.
Go ahead and try it. Whether you are simply feeling stuck, facing one of life’s many transitions, or just wanting more, you’ll find self-awareness to be the first step on your path to ‘happily ever after.’
You’ll be motivated, energized, and more determined to reach your goals. Here’s a little creative writing idea for you. Like my students did for the fairy tales, take a few minutes to describe yourself two years from now. Writing about achieving what we want makes the victory a lot closer.
Thanks for stopping by for the launch of my newly named column. Join me next month when we’ll work together to help you not waste time wondering “What’s next?”
Loretta
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