HAPPY NEW YEAR, 2025! This month’s column is all about that traditional New Year’s Eve song, “Auld Lang Syne.” That song, which is sung at midnight, makes everyone look around for some old friends to kiss or hug and then, perhaps, to start looking for some new friends.
Actually, here’s the surprise – we don’t really know what Auld Lang Syne means. It’s literally translated as ‘old long since.’ No wonder Harry and Sally weren’t sure what it meant when it started playing that New Year’s Eve!
HARRY: Should old acquaintance be forgot'. Does that mean that we should forget old acquaintances? Or does it mean that if we happened to forget them, we should remember them? Which is not possible because we already forgot them!
SALLY: Ha! Maybe it means that we should remember we forgot them or something. Anyway, it’s about old friends.
Regardless of where you are in your journey to finding your happily ever after, friends are connections, and ‘connection’ is a basic human need. Anytime is the right time to increase your connections. The ‘gold’ ones (old) will take care of themselves – let’s talk about the ‘silver’ (new) ones and how to find them.
You may think you have enough friends. But reaching out and making new friends is important. Old friends know you and your idiosyncrasies. You know theirs and the surprises are few.
With new friends, you will increase your curiosity and actually lower your stress level! You will be eager to learn about these new friends and what their interests are. Meanwhile, you’ll also improve your self-confidence and raise your sense of belonging. How’s that for some benefits!
I’ve decided to offer you a few criteria to use when searching for new friends - in no particular order:
1 – Make sure the people you interview ask YOU questions. Someone who is not really interested in your thoughts, background, or your opinion about things will not make a good friend. This person is more self-centered and is not someone you can turn to or trust when you are planning your free time or have something you’d like to share.
2 – Look for people who are positive. How can you tell a person is more on the positive side? You can tell within the first 10 minutes. If you find that they complain a lot, like to gossip, and/or have a snide comment about all that is going on around you, that would be a hint! Negative people bring you down, make you feel like you would have been better off staying home and watching the new episodes of Yellowstone.
3 – Consider something you are passionate about and reach out to a new interest group to find new friends. When you do this, you will start off with something in common (photography, art, taking a course, salsa dancing, etc.) and will enjoy sharing thoughts and experiences.
4 – Take a risk and make it an adventure. Sure, you may think you are out of practice for this. ‘New Friend’ business. The only way to change your outlook on ‘Is this all there is?’ or “What’s next?” or “I’m stuck!” is to push yourself to do something. Get started and realize that if one road you go down is not quite right, you can easily choose another.
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Happy New Year, and Happy new friend hunting!
Let me know how it goes,
Loretta
loretta@coachingwithloretta.com
